The Killer Spot

In the pursuit of another ‘perfect spot,’ we found ourselves faced with an interesting dilemma. How does one top the ‘perfect’ spot? For that matter, how does one get away with defining ‘perfection’ in the first place? Philosophers have been at it for years – what makes me think I’ve got a handle on it?

Yeah, whatever – I ain’t no Socrates… And as far as I’m concerned, our last camping spot was definitely a candidate for perfection. However, as to not compromise the warm memory of our camping bliss, we decided upon a new approach. We would not try to top perfection, but would instead create a whole new category of amazing camping definition.

With that said, I now bring you our latest camping adventures: Dayna and Pauly Discover the KILLER SPOT. (There IS an alternative name for our adventure, by the way and maybe I’ll tell you if you’re lucky…)

Since we visited a bit of higher ground on our last adventure, we made the decision to explore the lower regions of the Olympic Peninsula with this expedition. We decided upon the beaches around the La Push area and pointed Pauly’s truck towards the Coast. We were off on another adventure.

Even though our last trip had been ‘perfect,’ there were still a few things I wanted to change for this outing. For instance, I didn’t sleep the night before the last trip and it totally kicked my ass on the first day. This time, I actually got some sleep before the trip and it made ALL the difference. There was also a certain issue with our libations on the last adventure. (You might recall the sad tale of the assy boda bag…) To avoid ANY possibility of this ever happening again, I threw away the offending assy-bag. This time, Paul brought a couple of Platypus bags and they just happened to perfectly fit an entire fifth of Jack Daniels. Ahhh, sweet, non-assy Platypus bags… I also didn’t even LOOK at the pasta while it was boiling on the stove this time. I didn’t TOUCH the pot and gladly handed the strainer over to Paul for safe, pasta-keeping. Suffice it to say, no pasta was harmed in the making of our awesome salmon dinner. But we’ll get to those details later…

ANYhoo – onto La Push we went…

We decided to head up North and catch the Edmonds ferry towards Port Angeles. Holy crapola – the ferry has gotten totally expensive! It was basically $20 for us to take a 20 minute ferry ride across the water… A dollar a minute - WOO! The last time I took the Edmonds ferry, it was $13 or something… And I thought that was expensive. Well, whatever – it was a small price to pay in the end as it did help lead us to the KILLER SPOT. The day was also very bright and sunny, so it made for a lovely ride across the water. After enjoying our short, but pricey ride, we embarked upon the road towards Port Angeles.

I haven’t been on that road in a while and I had forgotten how beautiful of an area it is. It was really nice to head out in a different direction for a change. I’m always going North, South or East – It’s very rare that I head west, towards the Coast. It was cool the way the terrain changed as we got closer to the sea. Everything just looked a bit more windswept and weathered… It felt like a whole other state.

As we rolled into the Port Angeles area, it became quickly apparent that we were no longer in the ci-tay. Yeah, I don’t remember the last time I went to my local coffee shop and was able to pick up my morning latte AND a new handgun. I mean, because when I’m ordering my double-tall, I wanna see what’s new in the Smith and Wesson line. It just makes sense!

Anyway, that’s exactly what we found as we drove into town. I don’t remember what the place was called, but yes, they had espresso AND guns. Hey – if you wanna get a gun – fine. If you wanna get a coffee – great. However, I’d really prefer that you not put your itchy, quadruple-tall-gripping fingers anywhere NEAR a trigger. I really wish we had a picture of that place…

As we continued our drive through town, we were looking for a spot to grab something to eat. While we were waiting at a stop light, we came across our first candidate. Wait a minute – Does that sign say ‘Nasty Chinese?!’ Yes, I think it does! I was both scared AND amused at this idea. However, I quickly realized my mistake as the light turned green and we moved past the big pole standing in front of the sign. It actually read, ‘Dynasty Chinese,’ but the die had already been cast - there was nasty Chinese food at that place and I didn’t want any part of it. I was already pre-occupied with my quintuple-tall and new gun, anyway. (Just kidding – I didn’t actually get a coffee…)

We didn’t eat at the nasty Chinese place and okay – I didn’t have a coffee OR a new gun, but we did find a nice place up the road. Granted, it fell a bit short of being a ‘quick’ stop, but it was nice enough. And it wasn’t ‘nasty’ so that was a nice perk. We ate our lunch and headed back out on the road – away from coffee and guns and nasty Chinese food… Towards the beach we ventured.
We arrived in the La Push area sometime in the early afternoon and started looking for a place with tide charts. As I really haven’t done a lot of beach camping, the need for tide charts didn’t even OCCUR to me. What a dork. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that the tide comes in and the tide goes out – I get it. However, I just didn’t think of it in relation to where we’d be setting up our tent. Luckily, Paul did and we were on our way to DRY camping. Note to self: Getting stuck on a not-so-accessible beach while the tide is coming in would not be a *good* thing.

We were initially hoping to park in the Third Beach parking area, but that area was all full when we first drove by. Therefore, we moved on to the Second Beach area and found a spot there. It was time to finalize the distribution of goods and gear into our packs. Oh, and in order to do this, it was imperative that we accompany the chore with a nice, cold one. Always a fine way to start out what would soon become a KILLER adventure.

On the last adventure, I will admit that Paul carried the heavier stuff. He had the tent and the fuel and those items definitely weigh more than the water filter and stove. (Which would be what I had...) Since I SUPER SWORE that on the next trip, I wouldn’t be a dork, I wanted to carry more stuff this time. Paul had also kindly provided me with a bigger pack, so this was definitely a possibility. Okay, granted, Paul still had the tent and the fuel, but we had to take an animal-proof food container on this adventure and I put that in MY pack. It wasn’t exactly an anvil, but it definitely added some weight and an odd, shapeliness to my pack. In retrospect, I REALLY wish that I would’ve taken more time to properly fit it into my pack. However, as we wanted to get going and I really wasn’t in the mood to unpack my entire bag, I placed it too high up in the grand scheme of weight distribution. Solid plan, dumb ass… More on that later.

After packing our gear, we decided to give the other parking lot another go. We were in luck – a couple of spots had opened up and we were good to go. Kick ass. We grabbed our stuff and put our rather heavy packs on our backs. Off on the trail we went… However, I ended up having to stop about 25 feet into the trail to use the outhouse. Girls. Whaddya do?

Paul had been to the area before, but we didn’t really have a well-defined, destination plan. It’s not like we had one on the last trip, either and that adventure turned out PERFECTLY. I wasn’t worried about where we were going on this day, either. I had confidence we’d end up somewhere fabulous – no worries from me. It was a beautiful and very hot day as we headed out towards the Third Beach. Somewhere on that beach, the killer spot was waiting…

The hike was going fine – everything was as hunky dory as it could be while hiking with a heavy-ass pack. Sure, it was hot and sticky and that’s always a super-sexy combination, but whatever – it was allll good. After about an hour or so of hiking, we ended up down on the beach. WOW! It was absolutely beautiful – It was the OCEAN – WOO!!! It was a beautiful, sandy beach and I was SO happy to be standing there, taking it all in… As I hadn’t been there before, I didn’t really know how the trails were laid out. I knew we’d be hiking along the beach, but I didn’t know about the ROPES AND LADDERS… There were people camping on the beach that we were now hiking along, but Paul said that there would be more spots further up the beach. We kept hiking onward… Hiking on until we came to the first section of ROPES AND LADDERS.

There is a reason I’m choosing to lay some capital letter stank on the intro of said ROPES AND LADDERS. 1) While although it’s all good, I wasn’t expecting to haul my pack AND ass up the side of a bunch of crumbly hillsides that day. 2) While hiking the last part of the trail to the beach, the weight distribution in my pack started to get a bit wonky and things were feeling a tad unadjusted. 3) There really isn’t a number three issue, but what kind of a list has only TWO points to it?! Anyway…

When we arrived at the first set of precariously placed ROPES AND LADDERS, I was a bit taken aback. Whoa – umm, we have to climb up that? (Yes, Dayna – you lazy ass – what’s the problem? You LIKE crazy adventures… Suck it up.) After resigning myself to the possibility of my poorly balanced pack pulling be backwards on the way up, on I went. I mean, because it’s not like I was gonna turn around… We both made it to the top without incident and we continued on to wherever it was that we were going.

Along the way, there were a few more areas involving ROPES AND LADDERS. In addition to the ROPES AND LADDERS, there were also quite a few steps along the way. A lot of work went into the creation of parts of this trail and it certainly wasn’t lacking in diversity. OR beauty… It was so awesome to be hiking along the beach and then trail up into beautiful forests with lush green and towering trees. Wow. As we hiked in and out of forest onto beach, we came across various campsites set up along some very cool beaches. However, we still hadn’t quite found the right spot, so we kept going.

Along with each passing of a new ROPE AND LADDER scheme, came the further re-adjusting of my pack’s ill-distributed weight. As we went up and down each crazy section, the more and more it began to feel like my pack was choking me. I kept trying to adjust the load straps as I went, but I wasn’t making much progress. Paul was up ahead of me a bit, so I didn’t want to stop for too long and screw around with things, so I kept going. As I mentioned, it was really hot out and this, combined with being choked, was not the most pleasant of situations. I started to get frustrated. After coming down what felt like a particularly long stretch of choke-inducing downhill, I caught up to Paul. He was waiting at the next section of uphill craziness and I asked for some expert, pack-adjustment help. He was able to change the fit of the pack a little and we moved on to the next section of the trail. It still felt a little off, but it was better than before, so I tried to quit being such a big baby.

The next section of the trail had a ridge section at the top that was a bit hard for my short-stuff legs to navigate. There were some ROPES in place and I was able to use them to an extent, but I sort of lost my balance at one point and went crashing into the side of the ridge. What a dork. Oh well – no one saw me LOOK like a dork, so no harm, no foul. Other than to my arm… Whatever… Anyway, I finally made it over the top and looked down onto the other side. We were on the beach again. Yay!

As we hiked onto this beach, we were aware of the fact that high-tide was coming very soon and that it was definitely getting late. We needed to find a place to set up camp. Lucky for us, we had just arrived at what was to soon be deemed, the KILLER SPOT.

As we walked up the beach, we found a cool spot by some trees and a rocky cove and decided that this was where it was alllll gonna go down. This was the killer spot for our crazy, beachy adventure. And when I took time to fully look around and investigate the spot, it dawned on me that we were on a private beach. There were NO other campers around. NO other peeps in site… HA! Goodbye to civilization, thank you very much. The only things coming and going were the waves… Yeah, that’s good stuff.

And with this decision to lay down camp, also came the ceremonious laying down of the heavy-ass packs. I’m serious – it amazes me EVERY time. There is nothing like taking your pack off at the very end of the hike – it feels like you can FLY. It doesn’t matter how tired you were 30 seconds ago when you still had that pack on… It’s a whole different world when you throw that thing down. You could seriously run for miles… Well, maybe at least a brisk walk or something… But seriously, it’s an awesome feeling.

After removing various rocks and branches from our site, we set up the tent. As we were setting things up and positioning everything just right, the sun was starting to set behind the costal rocks. Whoa. It was just stunning. We were surrounded on both sides by rocky coves and just off the shore, there were several giant, monolithic rock formations. One of them looked like it belonged on Easter Island in my opinion. It was also at this time that we started to notice little, black things bobbing in the water close off the shore. SEALS! COOL!! Wow – that was amazing. The more we watched, the more we saw. They were totally checking out us as well and a couple of them got pretty close to the shore. It was just us and the seals. These were neighbors that I could definitely handle. Well, as long as they didn’t waddle on shore to steal our goods…

I should also mention that while we were setting up the campsite and beginning the long descent into a beautiful sunset, we cracked open a coupla cold ones. Paul had brought along some tall boys and we each packed two into the campsite. And I’d like to note FOR THE RECORD, that no beer was spilled on the way to the camp. So there. There were NO beer casualties at this time. HA. We both were able to enjoy TWO beers a piece on this trip and it was fabulous, indeed. (But that doesn’t account for the beer that Paul wasted on the way OUT of the area… heh heh… More on that later… Sweet vindication…) Uhhh, it was at this time that we also enjoyed a bit of the non-assy Platypus baggage. It was the start of a killer evening.

In keeping with our love of music and its inclusion in ALL areas of our travels, Paul set up his iPod on the roof of the tent. While it was awesome to again have the iPod on our adventure, we were met with an unexpected sound obstacle. I hadn’t really thought about how loud incoming waves can be, but wow – it really offered some formal competition to the range of the iPod. Oh well, given the crazy beauty of the spot, it was an acceptable battle to fight. We cranked it up as loud as we could and enjoyed what we could hear. All was well in the world of the KILLER SPOT.

We both were a bit exhausted after the hike in and neither of us could really seem to muster the energy to get an official dinner together. Hey – we had some good beer and whiskey and all manner of snackables – we were good. So, instead of busting out the stove, we concentrated on hanging out, walking around the beach and generally doing not much of anything. Yeah. It was awesome. I walked down to the waves for a while and just stood there as they came in and out. It was cool to just stand there with nothing to do but time the ebb and flow of the sets of waves. They seemed to come in groups of three, by the way… It was very cool to feel the way the sand moved around me while coming in and out. If it wasn’t starting to get a bit cold, I think I could’ve stood there for hours.

The one bit of energy that we DID expend around that time was one of profound importance. In keeping with an idea from our last adventure, I brought along a disco ball for the occasion. We weren’t going to have Club Perfect, but we sure as hell were gonna have Club Killer and that’s all there was to it. Paul strung up some rope over a close-by branch and proceeded to rig up the most killer hanging of a disco ball EVER. Period. We got out one of the trusty candle lanterns and with the disco ball in tow, hooked it all up to a carabiner, suspended perfectly from the rope set-up. Paul then took what has since become one of my very favorite pictures of ALL time. An absolutely killer vision of true, beachy goodness…Yeah…

As we sat out on the sand on our Thermarests, the stars slowly started to appear. The sunset was absolutely amazing and the colors were truly beautiful. The way it all was set against the ruggedness of the coastline was an awesome juxtaposition and it just never seemed to get old. I don’t know how long we sat there staring quietly at the scene – time was really of no importance anymore. With our faithful Platypus friend at our side, we just stared out on the horizon and simply existed. And our candle lantern/disco ball setup added the perfect, subtle accompaniment - Along with the occasional strains of the iPod… Sigh…

It’s at moments like this, when you’re quiet and still, that you’re able to tackle some of the more profound aspects of life. Your mind is clear and the solutions just seem to readily present themselves… It’s at moments like this when you’re really able to put it all together…

“You know, I’m really wishing now that I had brought some cheese…”

If there was one thing I wasn’t expecting Paul to say at that moment, that statement would be a big contender for the prize.

While I embarked upon laughing like an idiot, Pauly went on to explain himself. You see, he hadn’t brought any cheese on this particular adventure. And we had actually discussed this earlier. On the last outing, not only did he bring cheese, but he brought along the tiny cheese grater to go with it. However, since this trip probably wasn’t going to have a handy ‘refrigerator’ nearby, I guess cheese wasn’t the greatest of plans. BUT, at the moment – that was a flimsy version of reality. We didn’t have any cheese and that was clearly a problem. And one surely worthy of profound, conversational discourse… Or profound laughter. Which is what I was doing… Because, come on – that’s just freakin’ funny. It was truly one of the LAST things I was expecting him to say… But I am VERY glad that he did. It makes me laugh to this day. I’m laughing right now…

Ahhh, and this wasn’t the last thing that Paul would say that night that would instantly become the stuff of legend. I’m going to bed now, but tune in tomorrow for such comic gems as…

“I really wish I had a sling-shot… I haven’t had one since I was a kid.”

“Uhhh, so, what would you do with a sling-shot if you had one right now?”

“Well, for instance, I could shoot stuff with it.”

And with that, I bid you adieu. Until tomorrow… Heh heh heh…