Beachy Goodness...

I love Tiny Cheese Grater. To gaze upon his tiny perfection is truly a thing of wonder and beauty. I would go anywhere with Tiny Cheese Grater. (To be known from this moment forth as TCG ™) I would travel the world with TCG ™. I would stand in front of the Eiffel Tower with him. I would trek across the Sahara with him. I would happily be stranded on a desert island with him. Well, as long as all of the aforementioned spots have CHEESE available… Because I NEVER want to hear the following words uttered again – words that strike TERROR in my heart – “You know - I really wish I brought some cheese…”

And with that, I will bring you in for a quick wrap-up of my and Pauly D’s lovely, beach-camping excursion. Followed by our more recent ‘Schweet’ adventures on Chinook Pass…

So, when I was last describing our beachy adventure, I had just divulged the sad story of the absent cheese. And this was not to be the only comedy nugget that would pass over the lips of Mr. Paul D. Gibson on that fateful evening…

As we continued our lovely night of sitting on the beach and hangin’ with the waves, everything felt very peaceful and right with the world. We were just sitting there, not really saying much. And I had finally stopped laughing about the whole cheese incident… (Well, out loud, anyway…) It was at this moment that Paul said the next thing that would quickly become comedy legend.

“I really wish I had a slingshot.”

It was at this time that I burst into yet another gut-wrenching fit of laughter.

“Bahahahahaaaahahaahaahhahaaaaahaha!! Umm, just what would you DO with one if you had one right now?!”

“Well, for instance, I could shoot stuff with it.”

“Bahahahaaahahahahahahahahahhahahah!! Well, yeah – Right on!”

Okay. For the record I would say, in my opinion, that Paul is a peace-lovin’ kinda guy. I wouldn’t peg him for the crazy kid in the back of the classroom, slingshot in pocket - The kid that’s just WAITING for the recess bell to ring so he can go ‘shoot some stuff’ on the playground…The one with the shifty eyes – the one that knows juuuuust when the playground monitor is gonna come around the corner… Yeah, I wouldn’t peg him for that kid.

Well, not to say that Paul IS that kid, but I think he used to maybe sit NEXT to that kid in the back of the classroom. I think that kid kinda wore on him a bit… Maybe gave him a few, crafty ideas… I’m just sayin’.

And for the record, Paul did divulge that he indeed had a slingshot when he was a kid. And along with owning a slingshot, he was also apparently a bit of a lizard wrangler. (Yeah, you can learn a lot about someone when you’ve got nothing to do but sit around on the beach…I learned that sometimes lizards and slingshots go hand in hand. But I’ll let HIM tell you those stories… And be sure to ask him about the kite… Just sayin’…) I also learned that you can keep lizards in buckets for safe-keeping… (However, you shouldn’t put more than 5 in a bucket. I mean, they need room to move around and stuff… You don’t wanna overcrowd them or anything…Useful tip from the Source!)

Paul said he usually had around a dozen or so at any given time… So yeah, I’m hoping at that point he actually put FOUR lizards to a bucket, just to be Even-Steven about it. Because seriously, if I was a lizard and there three buckets for us and two of the buckets had FIVE lizards and one of the buckets only had TWO lizards in it… Yeah, I’d be pretty pissed if I was in one of the maxed-out buckets. BUT, since I have faith in Pauly’s ‘Lizard Management Skills’ (as he claimed to have) I’m sure he did the right thing. And it was from this day forth, that Paul took on the new nickname, ‘Lizard Boy.’

For the rest of the night, we just hung out, listened to the iPod and watched the AMAZING display of stars… At one point in time I well, I needed a private moment, so off into the rocks I traipsed. I went over to where this outcrop of rocks was and kinda climbed down inside the cove. So yeah, I finish doing my bidness and I take out my flashlight to shine my way back to camp. I shined it out into the middle of the rocks in the cove and I thought I saw all of these little ‘lights’ floating around in the rocks. “What the HELL is that?!”

As I continued to shine my light out into the cove and my eyes adjusted to everything, I realized what I was seeing. ACK! I was shining my light into a cove full of seals! And I just peed on their doorstep!! Oops!

So, I could imagine this probably wasn’t what they were hoping for and I decided to quickly vacate the premises. See ya! I swear I won’t pee on your doorstep ever again! :)

The next morning was beautiful. Well, foggy and a bit misty, but beautiful. Walking along the beach with the fog rolling in off the ocean is a very cool thing. We made some coffee and contemplated the day ahead of us. Yeah, and there’s nothing like sitting on a beach, with the waves coming in about 30 ft. from your feet, sipping a nice cuppa joe. Ahh…

After Paul made a kick-ass burrito brunch, we decided to set out down the beach. We wanted to see what else the coastline had to offer.

Along our hike, we went up and down a couple more ROPES AND LADDERS. (Yeah, this still deserves capitalization – read the last camping blog from August…”The Killer Spot”) We also saw some amazing driftwood/trees along the beach. It was awesome! I mean, “Killer!”

At one point in time, we were climbing the ROPES AND LADDERS and ended up in the most beautiful, pristine coastal forest. Wow. It was beautiful… And since it was still a bit misty, everything was very quiet, mysterious and GREEN. Wow – CRAZY green! It felt like another world… And as we hiked down, out of the forest, the skies started to clear up and we enjoyed amazing sunshine for the rest of the day.

We spent a couple of hours hiking up and down the beach and finally decided to head back to camp. We wanted to make sure that we stayed ahead of high tide, etc. On the way back, we stopped at a few giant boulders and climbed around a bit. Pauly did a much better job than I did … Granted, I didn’t have my climbing shoes with me, but I really didn’t want to screw up my hands before I went to Toronto for our recording. Just couldn’t risk it… However, there were some great boulders and I’d love to go back again! With my stupid climbing shoes… Of which I will NOT forget again… Granted, I might LOSE one of them while I’m hiking up a trail, but that’s a whoooole other story. (Chinook Pass – coming soon…)

Back at camp, we spent a bit more time hanging out. Paul went out into the water for a bit and I did some writing on the beach. Good stuff… At one point in time, we decided to make up some sort of game to play. Since we had neglected to bring a Frisbee, we needed to be creative. (The Frisbee, along with my hiking shoes is an item that I vow to NEVER forget on another camping trip…)

So anyway, this was the day that ‘Beach Rock’ was created. And it was good. Basically, we set up two sticks in the sand, about 30 ft. from each other. You got to choose three rocks and the object was to toss the rocks from one point to the other, getting as close to the stick as possible. And if you actually HIT the stick, bells would go off, angels would descend from the Heavens and Elvis would appear with a million dollars! I’m NOT lying. (Okay. I am… Whatever.) (No, I'm not.)

I think that whoever got closest to the stick, received 100 points. (We decided to play to 500.) They also got their pick of the choicest rocks for the next toss. What more could you ASK for of a game?! Well, okay – that whole ‘Elvis with a million dollars’ thing woulda been cool… (Okay, I really was lying.)

ANYway – so we played the game. And Paul stinkin’ won… Whatever. He’s the big, ‘Beach Rock Champion.’ Great. However, I’m the one who actually HIT the stick and knocked it over. HA! I was down, but not out!! :)P I’ll get you next time, Lizard Boy!

That night, we made a lovely salmon dinner and sat down to again enjoy the stunning blanket of stars. The sunset, I might add, was amazing – just as it was the night before. The sky was all pink, purple and dark blue as it melted behind the rocks… Yeah… Add in the twinkle of a disco ball and candle lantern strung from the trees and you’ve got a seriously fine setup.

I will also add that there was NO spilling of the pasta this evening. I gave Pauly the strainer and I didn’t even GO NEAR the pot while it was boiling. Everything was cooked and drained without incident and all was well in our culinary world. Throw in a couple of beers and some whiskey and WOO! We also enjoyed some Baileys while looking out on the sunset… Good stuff…

That night, as we were hanging out in the tent, looking at the pictures that Paul had been taking, we smelled something funny. No, it wasn’t due to the fact that neither of us had showered - it was something else… Something chemical-like… Hmmm… What could it be?!

Well, when we decided to turn in for the evening, we unhooked the disco ball and lantern and brought them inside the tent. Once inside, we came up with what we thought was a pretty solid display. What we didn’t account for was the fact that the inside of the mini disco ball was made of STYROFOAM. HA! And well, when Styrofoam spends a bit of time in close proximity to an OPEN FLAME, it has a tendency to, uhhh, melt… Yeah, and that's what we were smelling.

“CRAP! The disco ball is MELTING!!!”

We both sprung into action. (Well, as much as one can ‘spring’ in a tent…) I got up close to the disco ball, so I could see better. Unfortunately, I got TOO close to the scene and the lantern rocked into my face and burnt me on the chin! DOH! Out of all the little nicks, cuts, bites, etc. that I got on this trip, the last thing I was expecting to go home with was a CANDLE LANTERN burn. What a dork.

It was hilarious, though – the whole side of the disco ball was melting from the inside. Bahahahah! The Styrofoam was all melted, but the glass panes were still hangin’ on! Go, mini disco ball, GO!! Suffice it to say that I took down the disco ball for the night. Sigh… The party’s ooooo-ver…. :(

The next morning was lovely. The chemical fire smell had cleared out of the tent and the sun shone brightly upon the shore. Another brilliant day ahead!

That day, we kinda hung out and dealt with the fact that we would soon be making the trek back. Sigh… We had coffee and lunch and enjoyed as much of the day as possible before we started to get all our gear together.

The trek back was MUCH more enjoyable than that of the journey in. I took a lot more time to adjust the weight in my pack and everything was sunny and bright. Also, there was a lot less food, etc. to pack, so all the better. We had a great hike back and ended up back at the truck sometime in the mid-afternoon.

Back at the truck, Pauly had reserved a couple of beers for our triumphant return. Good man! I cracked open a cold beer and reveled in the fact that I didn’t have a pack on my back. Paul also cracked open a beer, but the reveling didn’t immediately start in his case…. Seems that Paul, the one who had previously given me such a hard time about WASTING a beer on the last trip, had just opened the bottle with such verve that it caused a shard of glass to fall into the beer! ACK! Yeah, and you CAN’T risk drinking the beer at that point! Therefore, we are EVEN! HA! Paul wasted a beer!!! WOO! (Although, I’m sure he’ll find some counterpoint to this claim and will argue with me about it… >:-) But come on – the fact of the matter is that a beer was wasted. Plain and simple. Heh heh heh… But lucky for Paul, he had another in reserve. All was well…

On the drive home, we drove along the Coast and came out on I-5, up past Olympia. It was a beautiful drive and it was great to see the Coastline on such a sunny day. We had great traffic all day long, but when we got onto I-5, down by Tacoma, it turned into this nasty, gridlock sorta thing… Kind of a sucky way to end our beautiful drive… OH well – it was STILL a beautiful day and an all-around beautiful adventure. I mean, it was KILLER! WOO!

I’m still writing of the adventures of our latest trip, but I will have it up soon. Figured that I’d better finish THIS story first…

Until next time!

In Tiny Cheese Grater We Trust,

The REAL Jordache ™

Oh, COME ON!!

Seriously.

What the HELL is going on??!?

So, I was walking out to my car at lunch today. I park in an enclosed parking garage. Key word: ENCLOSED. Granted, there are a couple open areas, but STILL...

ANYway, I'm walking to my car. I turn the corner to the row where my car is parked and I felt a swoosh of air coming up behind me. As I looked up, a black crow with it's wingspan fully extended, flew over my HEAD! ACK! And then it kept going - not really flapping its wings, but kind of gliding eerily past my head, on through the center of the row... Insert Hitchcockian music *HERE*

I have NEVER seen a bird in this parking garage - or ANY garage, for that matter. Sure, it's not totally unthinkable, but a CROW!? Just hanging out - gliding through the garage?! OVER MY HEAD?!?!? And it was a BIG crow!!!

Seriously. It just completely weirded me out. Yeah, and I'm ALREADY weirded out from the events of the last few days... I drove out of the parking garage with a giant pit in my stomach. It just felt like SUCH a bad omen...

Then, I went to meet the Lovely Maid Emiline to pick up some keys. While I was parallel parking my car in front of Guitar Center, my front tire bumped up against the curb. Nothing big or anything, but it told me that I was really close to the curb... JUST as I bumped my tire on the curb, this crazy FedEx guy comes out of nowhere - RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY CAR! (His truck was parked in front of me...) I mean, he actually had his hand on my hood as he was short-cutting in front of my car... And BECAUSE of this fact, my car sort of bumped him when my tire hit the curb. Luckily - he KNEW he shouldn't have been doing what he was doing and he looked at me and laughed. AND - the bump from my car was NOTHING, so I knew he wasn't hurt... BUT STILL!!!! I was already frazzled... Crazy FedEx Guy did NOT help matters...

Anyway - the saga continues... SOMEthing is going on... OH YEAH - Someone rear-ended EMILY the other day as well!! And she's still recovering from an accident that she got a month ago!! SOMEthing is going on...

I'm going back under my desk. See you next year.

TRJ (tm)

What the Hell - PART TROIS!!!!

Okay. That's it. I'm hiding under my desk for the next few weeks. End of discussion. If someone could maybe bring me some food occasionally, that'd be great. Thanks.

In the parking garage this morning, I was almost hit head-on by a guy who was whipping around a blind corner. He was going TOO fast and was in the wrong freakin' lane. And then, he had the nerve to look at ME like I was inconveniencing him or something!!!

THEN, I walked across the street to get lunch just now... I was on my way back, going up the steps by the Waterfront. There was only about 2 feet of space on my left when I took a step towards the left in order to take my turnoff. Without saying ANYthing - no 'On your left!' or ANYTHING - this jogger runs up the stairs, on my left side and almost totally knocks me over! And then he didn't even stop to see if I was alright - He just kept right on running up the stupid stairs.

Seriously. I'm scared to leave my office. I don't wanna drive home. I don't wanna walk down the freakin' HALL! If you need me, I'll be under my desk. Feel free to stop by for a visit.

Carry on.

What the Hell - Part Deux!!!

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

Okay - whatever. I was out doing some errands this morning and someone almost hit me again! This guy TOTALLY cut in front of me and I had to majorly slam on my brakes to avoid missing him. He wasn't even LOOKING! In a nutshell, I'm freaked out to get into my car anymore. Uhh, maybe I should just walk... I'm serious. This is really freakin' me out.

Also, something REALLY weird happened today.

Last night, as I was falling asleep, I had this really weird vision of Jehovah's Witnesses coming to my door. In the vision, I had a polite conversation with them and explained that, while although I appreciate their conviction to their faith, etc. I don't share their philosophy. I also said that I don't appreciate it when people try and push their particular beliefs on others and that I prefer to keep my beliefs and philosophy to myself. More of a 'good example' sort of approach... Then, they offered me their usual pamplets and whatnot and I politely refused. And on their way they went - no harm, no foul.

OKAY - So just a couple of hours ago, I'm working on my computer and there's a knock at the door. ARGH! I wasn't expecting anyone and I was feeling like crap from the accident, so I didn't feel like being social... I looked out the peephole and didn't recognize the women at the door. But, they looked harmless enough, so I opened the door.

"Hi, Ma'am - how are you today?"

"Uhhh, fine... Yes?"

"Ma'am, do you read the bible? And do you believe that the world is in a certain state of turmoil right now?"

"Uhhh, yeah - sure." (CRAP! It's the freakin' Jehovah's Witnesses!!! At this point in time, my vision comes FLOODING back to me... WHOA!!)

"Blah, blah, blah - this is our vision of heaven - blah, blah, blah... We'd like to leave you this pamplet - blah, blah, blah - Would you like one?"

"Uhhhh, yeah - sure." (NO WAY - It's the freakin' Jehovah's Witnesses!!! I really have nothing to say at this point because I'm totally weirded out about my vision. So, I just stand there like an idiot and totally accept their dorky pamplet. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WELL-SPOKEN COMEBACK!?!?!)

"Okay, Ma'am - thanks for your time. And thank you for opening the door. Have a nice day!"

"Uhhh, yeah - sure. Thanks. You, too." (ACK!! It's the freakin' Jehovah's Witnesses!!! Anything that I had worked up to say in case of the Jehovah's Witnesses showing up at my door was TOTALLY shot to hell. No pun intended. I was just WAY too stunned to come up with anything but an, 'Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....' Great. 'And thank you for opening the door!' - Wow, I hope this means that they're comin' BACK!)

Anyway - this day is off to a faaaabulously WEIRD start. Hmmm... What the heck ELSE is gonna happen today?! Damn. I'm hiding under my bed. See you in a few days.

GOOD DAY!

What the hell?!

Okay - what the HELL?! I mean, how many times in one, 24 hour period can I either almost get into a wreck or actually get into a wreck altogether?!?!? I'm really hoping that the limit is THREE, because hey - that's where I'm at right now... ARGH!!

Last night, on the way to a rehearsal, a guy totally ran a stop sign and I BARELY was able to stop in time. Almost totally nailed the back of his car... Great. And I was going downhill while it was raining... Very cool.

Today, on the way home from work, I was waiting at the on-ramp that leads into the Battery Tunnel on Highway 99. This is, in my opinion, the WORST exit ever created on a highway. EVER. Period. There is NO time to ease into traffic and on top of it all , traffic is going at least 50mph around a BLIND corner. Basically, I feel like I'm taking my life in my own hands on a daily basis... Every day, as I merge into the lane, I wonder if this is the day I'm gonna get in an accident. Well, hey - Today was my lucky, FREAKIN' day! WOO!!! Yeah, and I didn't even have to wait to actually merge into the lane - it happened beforehand! KICK ASS!

I was the next person to merge into the lane and I was sitting at a stand still - just waiting for my opportunity. Just hanging out, waiting to merge... BAM! Someone completely nailed me from behind! What's interesting is that she hit me hard enough to throw everything around in my car and knock my hat off. However, there was AMAZINGLY no damage to the rear end of my car AND my airbags didn't go off. Ummm, I think that says a lot for the KIA bumper, but I'm a little worried about the state of my stupid air bags. Great... ANYway - got all of her stupid information and headed off on my merry way.

THEN - on the way home, someone totally just up and STOPPED in the middle of 99 - In the lane in which I happened to be. COOL! And well, suffice it to say, I totally had to slam on my breaks to avoid rear-ending them. AWESOME. Luckily, I wasn't following too closely, so I had enough time to stop. Yeah, because there is nothing more that I'd like to do than to rear end someone RIGHT after being rear-ended myself! Good times...

Okay - so yeah, I'm about ready to get in my car again and I'm just a little leary... Is my streak over yet OR WHAT?!? And my stupid back is killing me, my organs feel a bit jumbled and I have a killer headache. COOL!

This has been a BANNER last 24 hours.

Okay. Carry on. BLAH!

The Tri-Cities… Always an eclectic time.

Greetings! Yeah, yeah, yeah – it’s been while. WHATever… :)P

So, I went to the Tri-Cities this weekend to see my family. Had a very amusing, interesting and eclectic time - As usual… Here’s a list of the highlights – because I KNOW you want one!!

- Got to visit with my grandma. Haven’t seen her in a while, so that was cool. She gave me some homemade chocolate chip cookies to take home…
- Hung out on my grandma’s back porch with Grandma, Mom and Pat. Played with Pat’s slingshot… My grandma provided the rocks. Did *not* hit any of the ducks, which was good - Wasn’t aiming for them… Didn’t hit the trees, either. I was, however, aiming for them…
- Got to see my brother and his family. Brought over a BUCKET of candy for my nieces. Heh heh heh… Sugar for all!! Played dress-up with Belle – she made me wear a lovely, flowered veil… And she made me wear it while we played soccer and football… Also watched ‘Cinderella’ with my nieces… They’re just freakin’ adorable… And were VERY spazzy due to the sugar intake… WOO!
- Introduced my dad to ‘La Fin Du Monde.’ One of my favorite new beers… Heh heh… He passed out. >:-)
- Started a beautiful Sunday morning by going target shooting with my dad. I did alright… Because, uhh, people shoot guns in Eastern WA. It’s what you do!
- My parents took me out to a really good Mexican lunch. YUM! Have the leftovers for lunch today…
- Went shopping for clothes with both my mom and dad. They were both pointing out stuff for me to try on… It was funny… It's rare that my dad comes clothes shopping with us...
- Went to the sporting goods store with my dad. There were A LOT of camo goods at this particular store. I mean, it is Eastern WA., after all… I did, however, find what I was looking for… In SPITE of all the camo… And my dad was very entertained with my selection process…
- Went to the grocery store and stocked up on all of my favorite Mexican food items. Just can’t find some of these items over here… And if you do, they’re ridiculously expensive… BAH!
- Watched ‘Lemony Snicket’ with my parents while eating a large bowl of popcorn. My mom didn’t steal the butter pan this time, either… Made a big pot of Mexican hot chocolate for all of us… Introduced my dad to strawberry chile candy… Good stuff.
- Stayed over on Sunday night and left for home this morning at 6am! Got to watch the sunrise over the Columbia River Valley and Gorge areas as I drove home. VERY beautiful… Drove directly to work. Damn. That was a helluva commute…

Alrighty. That’s it for now. Blah, blah, blah… Stay tuned – I’ll be posting the exploits from the latest camping adventure very soon! Good times… SEE YA!